The start :
It’s a story of a girl been lost in the world where she hopes to have atleast one glance of the boy she adored in there childhood.
Adored whole heartedly.. while being just kids, she knew there was something different the way she felt and not knowing what it was, never knew what does it really mean.. and now it’s been years they havn’t seen eachother, met or heard anything about eachother..
Where all of a sudden, in a family function there sight collide. Her expressions are happy, annoyed, embarrassed, angry, pleased, confused.. and she stands still
After these many years.. may be ten.. may be more then that. I’m seeing you today. You were unexpected to me here! You were always unexpected anyways until I remember.. After all these years and after all the unattended other functions.. you thought of attending this function?
In all this dim light chaos between you and me.. between the known and unknown people.. it’s you who feel more then knowing to me here.. all thoughts are flooding over me..
Is it even fair? It’s been so long I haven’t seen you and although I can’t even see you clearly.. the distance is too much. ‘ I want to see you.. I want to talk to you.. I have missed you so much.. where the hell have you been?! Never came to see me or never tried to contact me? What happened to you all of sudden didn’t you ever missed me? Or I’m the only fool who was expecting? How could you be so cruel to me? I know I was the only one who was so close to you.. haven’t you thought even once of me in so many years? I tried to know about you and no one knew anything! No one knew how was you.. or what were you doing these days.. I know there are times when things get changed but I wasn’t expecting this from you.. I have never wanted this to happen at any cost.’ And I don’t even know how my expressions are while looking at you now.. I just hope you won’t understand the rage with in me.. I can’t handle myself from controlling them. I don’t want to.. my heart is paining like someone has stabbed it.
I wish there is no one watching me.. I’m sure if anyone sees me in this moment, they’ll understand something is wrong with me and I don’t want that. But I can’t move.. it’s hard to even say something to anyone now. I’m trying to distract my mind and it’s hanged up like there is nothing on earth I can think about rather then him. I tried my best as I ignored him in seconds and thoughts running in my mind.. same as before..but more anxious.
The time we looked at eachother.. the way his expressions was a bit confused.. like he was analysing, remembering looking at me. He might be not sure about who I’m. It’s been so long.. even I was confused looking at him.. but it was less then a second, how can I forgot him tho.
I don’t know about him anything now, what is he doing.. how’s his life.. how is he.. even his thoughts about me.. I have no idea. I don’t know if he feels the same way I feel or felt for him.. suddenly tears forming up in my eyes.
I was wondering.. why destiny is so cruel with me.. I didn’t wanted to go things in this way I never wanted this.. I have lost a big part of mine losing everything between us all these years and I can’t bear loosing more.
‘ let’s meet again, for the first time and start over.. let’s just make things right the way they were supposed to be. ‘
Although, that one glance has pleased me in so many ways. I’m satisfied.. knowing he is alive and good. I was feeling the same wave of his nature as it was. Soft and secretive.. observent and knowing..
I don’t want to talk and I hope he wishes the same.. I have tried getting myself together all these years, staying happy without thinking about him.. I don’t want to build hopes again after interacting with him.
So, till the time we left the function I hold myself to not search for him.. or look at him.. I never search for him or tried looking at him and so we didn’t interact till the end.. we left the function and things continued the way they were.. just a slight better..
~ it’s me. ❤️